posted by the vegan husband

When people hear that your wife is a vegan, they will come up to you on the street and ask, “How did this happen?”, “When did you know?” and “Can you direct me to the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts?”

Being vegan is not like being a NASCAR fan.  It’s a choice.  You’re not born that way.  There is no vegan chromosome.

So, how did we get to this place?  Like anything else in life, it’s a process.  It happens over time.  No one wakes up one day and says, “That’s it!  No more prime rib au jus for me!”

The road to veganism is potholed with homemade meatballs, meatloaf, and pork tenderloins. Even as you’re giving some things up, you’re holding on to your favorites.  Eventually, a new way of eating takes over and somehow the old favorites no longer have the same appeal.

Maybe your own spouse is inching toward the vegan lifestyle and you’re blissfully unaware of it.  Have you noticed subtle changes in the menu at home?  Where once there was a hearty beef stew, is there now a broth with bits of celery?  Look closer; is there beef in that chili?

There are a few warning signs that I will share with you now that could tip you off to what’s going on.  With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here are five ways to tell whether or not your spouse is a vegan.

1. If she mentions cheese made from tree roots and crust made from cauliflower, but she’s talking about pizza, your wife may be a vegan.

2. If you have more than five pounds of carrots in your refrigerator, your wife may be a vegan.

3. If you’re eating virtually anything, and she says, “Do you want chia seeds on yours?” your wife could be a vegan.

4. If she can make a waffle with no dairy products in it or on top of it, your wife may be a vegan.

5. If she can spell and pronounce the word quinoa, your wife is definitely a vegan.