weather

posted by the vegan husband
for grins and giggles

Living in New England, we love to talk about the weather.  Standing around the water cooler, weather talk will win out over sports, politics, and vegan recipes every time.

But maybe it’s more accurate to say we love to talk about how much we hate the weather.  New England has so many different types of weather, it’s more than enough to keep the haters happy.  Or, is it unhappy?

You don’t hear Texans talk about the heat because it’s hot every day of the year in Texas.  If someone complained about the heat in Houston or Dallas, a fellow Lone Start State resident would tell them, not politely, to move the hell away.  You may have heard the expression, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of Texas.”

In Minnesota, they would put on another sweater before even thinking about complaining how cold it was.  In Seattle, they don’t whine about the rain.  They grab another cup of coffee.

If you live in New England, they say, it’s because you like the change of seasons.  And the emphasis is on change.  Because whatever season we’re in, we want it to be the next one.  Winter seems to last from November to May, so we can’t wait for Spring.  But then Spring comes and clogs the air with pollen.  It’s warmer than winter but not really warm enough.  And then it rains.

Most everyone loves Summer which runs from July to August (inclusive).  Yet, for every person who loves the warmth, you probably know five who complain that it’s too hot.  A heat wave is defined as three consecutive days of ninety degree temperatures.  You can go entire summers without a single heat wave.  But, as any New Englander will tell you, it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.

Ask a New Englander what his favorite season is, and odds are he will say Fall.  Is this because he likes to see the leaves change color?  No.  He’ll only have to rake, blow or mulch them eventually.  It’s the one time of year when it’s least likely to be too hot, too cold, too snowy, too windy or too rainy.

When you get right down to it, there are only about four days in the year that are perfect. Even the weather haters walk around whistling and saying, “I‘d be happy if it were like this all year round.”  But, not really.  Because then there’d be nothing to complain about.

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