POSTED BY THE VEGAN HUSBAND
I recently overheard two aliens talking at a newsstand. I knew they must be aliens because who else goes to newsstands these days?
LGZN5: Whatcha reading?
QEE72: USA Today.
LGZN5: Anything good?
QEE72: It’s sad, really. All this controversy about St. Patrick’s Day parades.
LGZN5: What’s so controversial? A parade sounds like fun.
QEE72: Some cities won’t allow LGBT’s to march. Or, in some cases, they can march but without a banner.
LGZN5: LGBT’s? I didn’t think they were even in this solar system!
QEE72: You’re thinking of Lunar GeoBeta Techpods. This is something totally different. “LGBT” is an acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender.
LGZN5: Ah. So why can’t they march?
QEE72: I’m not exactly sure. I think it’s a religious thing.
LGZN5: Are any other groups excluded?
QEE72: None that I know of.
LGZN5: Fat people?
LGZN5: Skinny people?
LGZN5: What about people who wear glasses?
QEE72: You’re starting to annoy me.
LGZN5: Okay. Okay. What does the Pope say about this?
QEE72: He says, “Who am I to judge?”
LGZN5: Well, there you go. Which cities are we talking about?
QEE72: From what I can tell, it’s New York, Boston, and Cincinnati.
LGZN5: Did anyone oppose the decisions?
QEE72: All the mayors boycotted the parades. Some of the beer companies pulled their sponsorship.
LGZN5: Well, that’s making a statement. Do you think things will change?
QEE72: Maybe someday. We can hope.
LGZN5: Hey, what about Chicago? What do they do to celebrate?
QEE72: They dye the river green.
LGZN5: Now that’s a place that likes to party! Next year, I say we go there.
QEE72: You’re on.
Comment from Suzanne Kasparson… We fear what we don’t understand… C’mon state of Michigan, it’s time to vote Gov. Rick Snyder out! Please leave a comment…