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Cheeseburger, close-up

POSTED BY THE VEGAN HUSBAND

The last time a high school science teacher got this much notoriety, he was cooking crystal meth in an RV.

But 54-year-old Iowan, John Cisna, didn’t do any cooking for three months. Instead, he ate three meals a day at his local McDonald’s. He liked it so much, he decided to continue it for an additional three months. And then he wrote a book about his experience called, My McDonald’s Diet. I wonder if the lines to get into Burger King and Wendy’s were just really, really long?

As a reward for this self-imposed punishment, John lost fifty-six pounds. His total cholesterol dropped by over fifty points. His “bad” cholesterol went down by twenty-five percent. Neither his blood pressure nor his sodium levels jumped through the roof. And the McDonald’s where Cisna ate thought his idea was so good, they didn’t bother to charge him for the food.

It was all done in the name of science. His students planned out the menu. The 2,000 calories he ate every day were in accordance with fifteen Food and Drug Administration guidelines.

And, lest you think he was eating egg white delights (it’s an actual menu item), salads, and the wrappers that the food comes in, don’t be fooled. He indulged in Big Macs, french fries, sausage burritos, shakes and sundaes. Almost eighty percent of what he ate was classified as “highly processed” by http://www.fooducate.com.

John went from being obese at 280 pounds to less obese at 224 pounds. Experts who have weighed in (sorry) are quick to point out that, while losing fifty-six pounds is great, not everyone should be quick to sign up for an all-McDonald’s diet. There are healthy menu options but also plenty of unhealthy ones. Wasn’t it just ten years ago that Morgan Spurlock famously gained over twenty-four pounds in a month of McDonald’s eating in the documentary, Super Size Me?

Like any change in eating habits, it’s what you do over the long term that counts. By his own admission, Cisna had lost weight before on Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. In a Huffington Post article, nutritionist Lisa Young claimed you can “lose weight any way you want as long as you eat less and you’re conscious.” All things in moderation.

With the healthy eating blueprints created by John Cisna at McDonald’s and Jared Fogle at Subway, I feel I am ready to take the plunge. I am going to hire an agent and have him put IHOP, Dairy Queen, and Pizza Hut on notice that I am ready for my fifteen minutes of fame. A side deal with Tums may also be in the offing.

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