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sleep

 

POSTED BY THE VEGAN HUSBAND

 

At our house we love to sleep.  If we’re not actually sleeping, we’re wishing we were or talking about how tired we are because we’re not.

But when we do sleep, it’s rarely eight hours of uninterrupted slumber.  We go to the bathroom.  We’re in pain.  We hear noises. After a week of my new Fit Bit telling me I was restless more than twenty times per night, I stopped wearing it to bed.  Tell me something I don’t know.

I decided to consult the Better Sleep Council bettersleep.org to see if they could help.  Part of the International Sleep Products Association, the Better Sleep Council has been “educating consumers about the importance of a new mattress” since 1978.  As you might expect, they have a lot of information on mattresses. When to buy, how to buy, and what type to get.

But they also have information on sleep disorders, consequences of a lack of sleep, the stages of sleep, and bed bugs.  They also list all the different sleep positions.  I figured maybe we’re just sleeping the wrong way.

The most popular way to sleep (41%) is on your side, curled up in the fetus position.  If you sleep this way, you are tough but sensitive, and maybe a little bit shy.  From there it’s a big drop to the second most popular.  Only 15% really do sleep like a log, with the hands straight down at your sides.  Maybe that’s because these people are trusting, almost to the point of gullibility.  Who would admit to that?

Third on the list is the yearner position where you are on your side but the arms are out in front of the body, perhaps ready to deliver a blow to a nighttime intruder.  The yearners are open-minded yet suspicious.

The only other positions noted are the soldier (on your back, arms down), freefall (on your stomach, arms under or around the pillow), and the starfish (on your back, arms up by your head).

So, where did we end up with our positions?

The vegan spouse, who is way ahead in the Sleeping Poorly competition, varies between two of the top three positions, the fetus and the yearner.  So what’s the problem?  Well, she sleeps that way because it is the least painful of any position. Other positions might be more comfortable, but if she stays that way for too long, she will pay the price in the morning.

My method of sleeping defies all labels.  I call it the rotisserie chicken position. I start off in a kind of modified fetus, on my left or right side, hands by my head, but with only one leg curled up.  Whenever I wake up, which is often, I automatically switch to a new position.  I will be on both sides, my back, and my bellie throughout the night.  I think the freefall is probably my favorite as that is where I normally end up when the alarm goes off.

Are we beyond hope?  Do we need professional help?  The Better Sleep Council would suggest not.  We have a routine.  We’re up at 4 AM but generally in bed shortly after 8 PM, which should give us close to what we need for sleep. Rarely do we stay up very late or sleep in.  Sleeping late doesn’t help you bank extra sleep.

We don’t have a tv or our computers in the bedroom.  We even meditate on a regular basis.  What’s the answer?  According to the Better Sleep Council, all we really need is a new mattress.

How’s your sleep? Please leave a comment…

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